“The only compelling reason to pay more attention to place…is the belief, the faith, that place and its people are intertwined, that place is character, and that to know the rhythms, the textures, the feel of a place is to know more deeply and truly its people.”
—Richard Russo, Creating Fiction
Indeed, one can learn and know someone better, in fact more intimately, just by looking (or snooping) his or her bedroom. I find this to be true not only in writing fiction, but also in real life. Some might disagree with me (and this notion), but really, remind yourself the last time you were in someone’s bedroom, or someone’s house—did you snoop? If you did not snoop at all (or refuse to admit it), at least you must have inspected and complimented his or her “personal” space. Or you quietly compare these spaces with your very own spaces. No? Or remember that time when you were in a nice resort, or in a fancy hotel room, and you think (or say), “I wish I can stay here forever…” Yes? I thought so—we are all snoopy-people “naturally,” or to an extent, taught to be snoopy “culturally.” But no worries—everybody snoops even the ones who refuse to admit it, because we do it voluntarily and unconsciously.
On the other hand, allowing someone to enter our personal space can be translated as “Hey, this is my ‘home,’ a portion of the important spaces where my life revolves.” When we let someone steps into our living spaces, we are exposing a part of ourselves—our “nakedness” to that person we trust and love (at least I feel this way). Hence, when this person judges our spaces negatively, a pang is felt deeply in our souls. We might react defensively; some would provide excuses for having such “design” (or in my case, “mess”) in their living spaces; and sadly some would even shower themselves with shame. Perhaps this person with negative compliments about your personal spaces might be true, and he or she is merely complimenting out of love. In that case, we might want to re-evaluate our spaces and ourselves. However, I still think it is offensive to give negative judgments about someone’s spaces because the interior designs of someone’s personal spaces are reflective to the interior designs of their inner “spaces”—their minds, spirits and souls. I truly believe this. Even a great interior design of a hotel is a reflection of the minds, spirits and souls of the designers and architects. This, however, does not mean that we should ignore someone’s “destructive” interior designs, but rather than giving our negative judgments, why don’t we offer love and renovations to the interior designs of their delicate souls?
This piece was published in Breeze Magazine (Rants & Rave section), January 2016 Issue.